with Bill
Fishing
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Walleyes For Tomorrow Your Support is greatly appreciated and needed! Walleyes For Tomorrow Humor
Do you know what is great about a clean joke?
Four Married Guys Go Fishing. First guy: " You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out fishing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend." Second guy: " that's nothing, I had to promise my wife that I will build her a new deck for the pool." Third guy: " Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I will remodel the kitchen for her." They continue to fish when they realized that the fourth guy has not said a word. So they asked him. You haven't said anything about what you had to do to be able to come fishing this weekend. " What's the deal?" Fourth guy: " I just set my alarm for 5:30 am. When it went off, I shut off my alarm, gave the wife a nudge and said, " Fishing or Fooling around?" and she said, " Wear a Sweater."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Fishing With the Right Equipment A couple go on vacation to a fishing resort in northern Minnesota. The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife likes to read. One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and continues to read her book.
Along comes a forest policeman in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says,"Good morning Ma'am. What are you doing?" "Reading a book," she replies, (thinking "isn't that obvious?") "You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her. "I'm sorry officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading." "Yes, but you have all the equipment. I'll have to take you in and write you up." MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think! --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Coming out of his garage the rain is pouring down: it is like a torrential downpour. There is snow and sleet mixed in with the rain. The wind is blowing at over 50mph. Minutes later he returns to the garage. He comes back into the house. Turns the TV to the weather channel and he finds it is going to be very bad weather all day long, so he puts his boat back in the garage, quietly undresses and slips back into bed.
There he cuddles up to his wife's back, now with a different anticipation and whispers, "The weather out there is terrible". To which she sleepily replies, "Yeah, can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in it?" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What is the richest fish in the world? A goldfish -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Fish at the Monastery One day while driving home from his fishing trip in the pouring rain, a man got a flat tire outside of a monastery. A monk came out and invited the man inside to have dinner and to spend the night. The stranded motorist gladly accepted the monk's offer. That evening the man had a wonderful dinner of fish and chips. He decided to compliment the chef. Entering the kitchen, the man asked the cook, "Are you the fish friar?" "No," the chef replied, "I'm the chip monk." --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A fisherman gets home after a long fishing trip and is eating breakfast. His wife walks up behind him and whacks him in the head with the frying pan. He asks, “Now why did you do that?” She retorts, “I found some phone numbers with women’s names by them in your laundry.” “Oh sweetie” he replies, “Those are just GPS numbers and since the big fish are female and the small ones male, we give them women’s names.” That night when he returns from work and eating dinner, his wife walks up behind him and whacks him in the head with the frying pan again. He asks, “Now why did you do that?” She exclaims, “one of your fish called today while you were at work!” ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Genie Fish A fisherman caught a trophy fish one day that spoke to him. “If you release me, I’ll grant you three wishes. But there is a small catch. Whatever you wish for your ex-wife gets double”. The man figures he can live with this, since he at least would get what he wished for. First he wished for a million dollars and got it. Of course his ex-wife got two million which bothered him then a bit. Next we wished for a mansion to live in. Of course his wife got two mansions. This bothered him even more. Why should she be benifiting so much? He went for a walk on the beach and came back an hour later carrying a large stick and asked for his final wish. He then wished, “I want you to beat me half to death.” ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Priest Goes Fishing
There was a priest who was a fisherman, but he hadn't fished in months. One perfect Sunday morning he couldn't resist. He called up the Bishop and claimed he had laryngitis. The priest then headed out to his favorite spot. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 2 Blondes
There were these 2 blondes fishing on each side of a river.
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Q. What kind of fish sandwich is made with peanut butter?
Q. Why do fish swim in salt water?
Q. Why don't fish use online services? -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On a sign at a bait shop -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Laugh it Off "Now come on, David," his mother said, "a big boy like you shouldn't be crying about an accident like that. You should have just laughed it off." "But that's just what I did, mommy." Bill Koehne Email Bill 920-826-5901 |